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tralala_band @ 2007-05-03T00:45:00

2007-05-03T04:52:44Z

Another biennial upsdate. A little drunk of the guiness, but Livejournal entries should only be that way.

I suppose the only thing worth writing about is that I finally got over Nick. I told him off, and I'm finally done with idealizing someone, and I'm ready to just make sloppy make outs with someone that I don't really know. OK I know him, sort of. I'll kiss the devil!

Hopefully next year will be spent in Scotland getting drunk more often than not and having an all around good time.

I'm having a hard time trying to analyze how this year has been. Last year seems pretty vivid in my memory and I can say definitively what sucked and what didn't. This year is alot harder to get at. Most of it was spent having panic attacks that I didn't understand and trying to figure out what the fuck the point of all of this is. I also realized that I am far too neurotic for my own damned good. However, being over Nick fucking finally is a such a good step for me. I was so sick and tired of depending on him to make or break a day....enough cliched phrases and now.

I'm not going to lie though--even if I totally had a new group of friends this year I am going to miss these people. I love my house mates Gwen and Hanna, and probabbly in retrospect will realize that I was actually half-way productive this year.

Now it's time for a piss, and to check thoes horrible annon. posts.

eh

2006-12-11T21:41:04Z

I'm not sure if I should keep telling myself that "it dosen't matter", or if everything really, really, really, does matter.

I really can't fucking wait to go home.

Here is an overview of first semester of Sophmore year:

I think I have become the definition of "sophomoric". I've spent much of this semester feeling sorry for myself and trying to figure of the meaning of something (I'm pretty sure) I already know the answer to and not enough doing my reading. Too many hours have been spent stroking my ego and reflecting on how my actions are intrepreted by others.

However, I should remember the drunken fights, hardcore dancing, yuengling, and staying up untill 4 making silly voices. but it's hard to be nostaligic when I know 1/3 of that collective group will be continuing next semester alot happier than I will be. (there is really no need for me to be vauge about this, because I know what I'm taking about--but I suppose that I really still don't want to acknowledge that I will miss hanging out with Vin.)

oh! to live!

But, it's going to be a new year so it's the time when we all feel like we can change who we are, and I admit I will make the effort to be less angsty and just enjoy things as they come. Roll with the punches emily, you know that it will be alright.

The soundtrack to the semster has mostly been A Silver Mt Zion (and can be visually stimulated by the various notes, grafitti, and doodles I've left as relics around campus for someone else to find.)

F#A# ∞

angsty?

2006-11-25T00:21:48Z

someone told me once that what's really important is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning. I usually wake up unable to think about anything (but I know my heart is full.)

back and bringing the whack attack

2006-11-20T06:05:14Z

An open letter to friends,

Sorry if I am needy and obnoxious and passive agressive and don't say what I mean because I don't want to seem like any of the above.

Love, emily

I also just wanted to let everyone know--I had the wonderful idea that I could fix Kirstan's wet book by popping it in the oven, but because I am a drunkard I forgot it was in there, and we would have set hill house on fire had Kirstan not woken up and remembered. Kirstan is the best! So are run-on sentences!

Can I also just say that Sophmore year is great/confusing/existentially kicking my balls.

tralala_band @ 2006-09-27T02:22:00

2006-09-27T06:22:36Z

I MEAN!!!!!
www.jointoperation.blogspot.com

best website ever

2006-09-16T21:34:47Z

www.jointoperation.blogger.com

tralala_band @ 2006-09-11T21:09:00

2006-09-12T01:10:41Z

tralala_band @ 2006-08-15T02:05:00

2006-08-15T06:08:29Z

today I ate a cake with the gippers face on it.

yummy.

tralala_band @ 2006-08-11T17:01:00

2006-08-11T21:01:22Z

What an awesome new icon.

RIP

2006-08-10T05:24:22Z

I'll miss you dude.

Reality Television update #1

2006-08-07T04:59:19Z

Well, as I know you are all interested in how I've been spending my summer vacation I will let you in on an intimate look inside: What Emily Has Been Amused by on Reality Television. [Episode 1]

5.) Alright, I just overall love the show "Who Wants to be A Superhero". Now as all of you know, I fucking hate that dork shit but this show is so hilarious. The best is the charater called fat mama. Fat mama, as one can assume is a large black woman. Her costume is a tight fitting latex number with, get this, various pastries hanging from it. First it was some donuts, then some other snack. I tired to find a picture of the suit but I just had to make a diagram

4.) Next is the show who wants to be a soap star. jesus these people are the worst actors ever-it also another additon to the "list of things I saw before they recapped it on best week ever"
3.) Cops is always amazing. no questions
2.) I fucking love Bradley from Project Runway this season, check out his interview

Question: How would you describe your personal style?

Bradley: I wouldn't.

Question: Who do you think were the best fashion icons in past decades?

Bradley: ...

Question: What's the biggest mistake people make when shopping?

Bradley: Next question please.
1.) and the number one reality show of the summer, is of course Flavor of Love. VH1 you devils, you done it with your pop culture trashy shows again. I fucking love this show. In the first episode there was: a fight in the first 30 seconds, drunk ladies, and someone POOING ON THE FLOOR

tralala_band @ 2006-07-17T00:53:00

2006-07-17T04:53:48Z

Not only have I been too lazy to update, I really haven't had much time. Work is pretty time consuming, and now my cousin is here. So we pretty much spend all night smoking weed. So I won't sully your eyes any longer with a burt out entry....just giving a heads up I guess....if you were wondering if I was dead...but I'm sure you haven't

Siren Festival was shit.

tralala_band @ 2006-07-03T21:33:00

2006-07-04T01:33:08Z

It's like cribs yo.

2006-07-02T22:41:01Z

There is the wall I painted...ick and Jen adding something to the wall as well
This is a sign Jen and I found, my moms tiger from when she was little, some dude, and my prized ceramic cobra
My brother bought some sharpies, and wrote on it. I think this will start to look better when more people draw on it.
This was my addition to the wall

This is the wall of fame, I don't know if you can read it but it is a picture of everyone after they've finished the century club, and the hour of power. The photo underneath is the after picture.

We also like to doctor pornographic images and replace their faces with funnier ones.

So yeah, that's the basement....Sorry my camera phone is so fucking shitty.

ew x100000000`

2006-07-02T21:55:23Z

F.Y.I. my mom is watching anime. WHAT THE FUCK!???!?!

To: My Brain Re: WTF man!

2006-07-02T11:28:44Z

I've been having this string of dreams lately where either the object of my desire, or some other random male has begun to show interest in me. However, EVERY-FUCKING-TIME I think (in dreamland) that it's all good and I think object of desire or random dream guy is totally into me --they go "oh, nah I don't see you that way". This is really getting ridiculous. I know I'm not lucky in the love department in real life, and I'm sure as hell my brain knows that too. So what's the deal man? Can't you throw me a bone!!?? Dreams aren't real! Just let it go down once that's all I'm asking, stop being such a cock block and let me have my imaginary relations.

Now, I know that you're thinking that I am neglecting the dream I did have where it went down. However, setting me up with Zach Galifianakis () instead of the other featured, Demetri Martin () Is cruel and unusual punishment. Not only did you make Demetri not the prime player in the dream, you added salt to the wound and made him seem like an enormous asshole. Thanks.

regards, the rest of emily's body.

tralala_band @ 2006-06-29T12:13:00

2006-06-29T16:14:07Z

I have never told anyone this story. I'm sure you'll know why, because it is what I believe is the most mortifying moment in my adolecent life.

Eight years ago my parents sent me away to a sleep away summer camp. It was called Camp Applejack and was upstate New York. It was the first time I'd ever been in the wilderness, but that wasn't what scared me. I had gone to the same school since Kindergarden and wasn't sure if I could live up to meeting new kids. We lived in an elevated log cabin and every group had a name. I don't remember what ours was, and I don't remember our counclers, ony that she played a Snoop Dogg CD the first day. I didn't know who that was. I stayed in a room with five other girls. I slept on the bottom bunk. Every day after lunch we would get mail and have oppurtunities to write to our parents. Actually, we had to write our parents. It was our ticket into dinner. I don't remember a time in my life where I've cried more than on that bottom bunk. Blubbering while reading a letter from my mom about the weather, the cats, and what movies she'sbeen watching. Despite my anxiety about meeting people, I had made a few friends. The only ones that I remember are Carly and Leslie. They were both from New York and liked to sing. Earlier in the year someone had asked me where I was from. I suppose I was still rattled from being in a new place I said the first thing that came to my head. This moment is probabbly the most regretted moment of my childhood. I said that I was from Long Island. I am not from long Island, nor had I ever been there. I don't know why I said it and I don't think I ever will. The area which I live in is referred to as Long Island City, and perhaps that's wheret the confusion came from, but I don't know. Now, instead of correcting myself I stayed quiet. I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of all these girls, and the councler who liked Snoop Dogg. So I kept it up, who was it going to hurt? My lie snowballed and after a few weeks I had my first anxiety attack. I didn't know it at the time, but upon reflection it's the same feeling that I still get sometimes. I feel as if there is a giant knot inside my chest, and I slowly have to unwravel it. I have a visual of a huge black spiderweb and I have to untangle it before I can feel better. Every Sunday the camp would gather on this large field and talk about what had went on that week, and what was going to happen next. After all of that there was a time where everyone would sit in silence for about five minutes. They didn't stress any religious undertones, but told us that it was a "spiritual excercise" (yes, it was a fucking hippie camp and I hated it). During these times I would think about what I had gotten myself into while I braided grass, and burned myself on that grass with the little microscopic razors on them. After a few weeks I got so upset about the lengths I had gone to convice these people that I was indeed from Long Island. When Leslie, who is from there asked what school I went to, I told her to guess and said yes to the first one. I remember thinking that I probabbly should have waited for her to guess more, but she got excited and kept asking me if I had known so and so. I alternated answering yes and no, more often no than yes. I was playing social Russian roulette and just hoped that she wasn't good friends with any of these people, or worse making them up. After that lunch I said that I had to go to the infirmary. I can't remember if I had really made myself feel ill, or just needed to go somewhere else for a little while, but the truth was that I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I told the nurse that I had to lie down and she just told me that I was dehydrated. I spent a good 3 hours in that dark room. I was lying on a cot with a plastic matress, so no one could pee or puke on it. All I remember doing was closing my eyes and imagining every room in my house. I walked though the kitchen, in the basement and even tried to remember what my tennants part of the house looked like. Then I moved on to visualizing my best friend's house, and anywhere else I had been. I don't know why I did this, but I know I just needed a place to lie down and not think about my stupid lie for a few hours. When I finally got up to leave it was dinner time. Before dinner we would have to line up in rows according to where we lived. on this particular day I remember standing in front of Carly when she asked if I was really from Long Island. I don't remember most of the conversation, which is suprising because I vividly remember everything before that moment. After I told her that I wasn't from Long Island things were a little different for awhile, but she eventally forgot and were good friends the next year.
But I still think about this stupid mistake I made eight years ago and I wonder if I've really learned anything from it. While I've never told anyone that I live in Long Island again, I still find myself telling little lies sometimes. It's usually to embelish a story, and to give it a funnier ending than what happened in real life, but it's still fundamentally the same thing. It's not like they are white lies, because they aren't really benifitting anyone. I suppose in my old age I have learned that it is ok to tell little lies sometimes, as long as you can cover your tracks.

tralala_band @ 2006-06-29T00:54:00

2006-06-29T05:52:03Z

Today I saw 'the lakehouse'. I know, awful right? But how can you blame me, the previews made it look so damned intriguing. Any love story involving time travel must be good right? and the chemistry between past stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bollock? I mean, they were in SPEED! SPEED! You know it's true love when you're stuck together on a bus that will 'splode if it goes beneath 65MPH. ah, but alas, time traveling letter writing is not condusive to the year 2006. I mean, who writes letters anymore really? The story also had a few holes, but that wasn't really my problem. I am convinced that it could have been a better movie had the directing been good and if the soundtrack included the Shins.

Other than that I've gotten hella into Passions. Don't say a word. It's amazing, if you're ever bored one day at noon light up a fat doobie and revel in the amazing drama that is Passions. How can you say no to devil worshipping, the holy grail, earthquakes, amnesia and horrible acting? HOW??

This gave me some lulz,

Important information ahead.

2006-06-28T08:14:28Z

In other news....my iPod is a boce.

Today I also got my FREE Belle and Sebastian tickets. I am really excited--but the word on the street is that Simone is going. I know it's very petty of me to care, but she likes Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson for godssake.

tralala_band @ 2006-06-26T00:18:00

2006-06-26T04:32:28Z

Today has been uneventful as usual.

But I was in the basement hanging out, watching TV and stuff and I started thinking about what makes up someone's life. (here is your clue to skip some existential ranting...get out while you still can!) I mostly was thinking about the story about how my parents met. They met in a court room when they were both trying a case, and my dad asked my mom out on a date. Just that. A little insignificant moment that decided my, and my brother's entire existance. Do we ever know when a moment would lead to something much larger, in the grander scheme of life. What if I handeled things with him differently? What if I was supposed to meet someone else. It's overwhelming to think that your life is ordered by so many little conicidences. I mean, how much power do we have over our own destiny? There are so many "what ifs" I can ask myself, and so many senarios that I wish panned out differently. What about all that time in between. The time we just spend sitting and thinking, are we missing that person, or that experience that will change our entire life. What if my mom didn't go into court that day, or if she thought my dad's hair was too long. It makes me think how proactive I should be in my own destiny. Should I roll with the punches, or try and take the bull by the horns....cliches aside, the question of karma is always something on my mind. It makes us feel that there is a force out there, bringing people together. allowing us to buy into the idea that we aren't all just atoms bouncing around until we find the closest one to join.

Every time I think to myself-- Why haven't I met him, why can't I be her, or lack the skills or intelligence to make the next great piece of art-- is it better to wait for it to come to me or go out and get it? I can't help but come to the conclusion that the latter ends up in frustration.

Maybe it's a combination of both. A little bit of courage, and a little bit of luck.

Though all of this, I also feel like I'm just trying to rationalize the fact that I may just have some rotten luck.

Don't stop believin.

2006-06-21T01:40:27Z

I can't remember the last time I updated, but everyone who need to know anything of interest probabbly does already.

Today I fufilled day one of home makeover, basement edition. I figure we spend so much time down there that it should at least look a little nice. I painted the doors of the closet. It actually turned out looking awful, but it may grow on me.

I also got TWO shots at the doctor today.

BUT-- I pose to you livejournal readers, have you seen this documentary on Sundance called "the drug years"? I really am enjoying it. Light up and let the irony begin.

Finally, I have joined the dark side and bought a pair of skinny jeans, and black jeans. I know, but I don't think they are as unflattering on me as they are on some people...but then again I may just be ingnoring that I look like a triangle.

Apologies that this entry is to vauge and boring. I don't really like writing about personal things on this open journal thing. By all means, I will announce when anything interesting happens but, I'm sure you can tell that I'm very self concious about the level of bitching I do. However, if you were REALLY wondering what I think about while I'm painting doors, here's the gist of it: Girl likes boy, girl is a victim of circumstance, boy finds out that said girl has feelings for said boy, boy replies "she's just a buddy", girl mopes around, repeat.... You'd think I've learned how to stop being the buddy after god knows how long. blah.

Well, to end it on a somewhat humorous note here is a story: The other day John and I were waiting for Sofia and his dealer on the steps of the church on 79th and B'wy. Sofia called me up and I suppose I left the phone on my lap, it fell out of my bag, or I did some other stupid thing. John gets a call from his dealer so we head down to 72nd to go meet him. Once we get there, I try and check my bag to see if Sofia is around yet...SUPRISE! My phone is gone. So I JET back to the church hoping that someone picked it up. I get there and there are a group of pre-teen boys. Possibly the more intimidating of the pre-teen genre, but I decide just to ask them if they found a phone. I ask, and they reply sort of confused "yes, who are you?" I wasn't quite sure what kind of a question that was, so I said "I'm the person who lost that phone." Now, this is where it get's interesting. The boy who'd found the phone said that he had gotten a call on his cell phone from my number from an Indian woman. She told him that she had found this phone and to come get it for me. Now, I have never seen this kid in my life, much less do I have his phone number on my phone. It all seemed very strange but they didn't really give it a second thought and just handed my phone over to me. After the pre-teen boys kept talking about how it was "SO IRONIC!" and how I kept thinking "well...it's not really ironic..it's just sort of funny" and trying not to say that outloud I thought to myself- WAIT A SECOND, maybe this kid is John's Dealer. I asked him if he knew John Noggle, he said yes, I asked if he was about to meet him, he said yes, and we both realized that HE WAS THE DEALER JOHN HAD GIVEN ME THE NUMBER OF AGES AGO! It was such a weird conincidence. I completely forgot I had this guys number on my phone, and this Indian woman just kept calling people on my phone book untill someone picked up, and the first one who did was this dealer. Crazyness. So if you got a missed call from me Saturday around 5-6 you are a part of history!

Also, if anyone read all that--kudos.

I talk too much

2006-06-14T02:40:11Z

Today has been uneventful, but there have been some interesting interactions with strangers. On the subway today I struck up a conversation with an older Russian woman. We were walking down the escalator together because it was broken and we talked about the MTA and living today. It was very sweet and filled something that I think I needed. Some kind of basic sweetness that is hidden in the city.

I also spent a bit of time screaming at friends in the car behind us trying to make it lookslike we were making a scene. The children at the stop light next to us must have reallyt thought some shit had gone down.

I met Celia's boyfriend today as well. That was nice, I'm glad she found a nice guy for her but I just kept thinking about how lonesome I was. ah well, I can't belly ache about that though. (this is a warning: no comments about the previous sentence please :) )

So to try and cheer myself up, I spent the rest of the night watching some sex and the city.

blah blah blah...I guess that's all for tonight. I don't want to be a bore

another letter

2006-06-06T12:40:12Z

EDIT: Deleted entry. If you read it, fine but it was too angsty and probably would be regreted later.

spoooooooooooooky date!

2006-06-06T12:23:23Z

Did you see that there? How I exteneded the number of o's in the word "spooky" to make it sound even more spooky? I should write books.

Today I am going to write about not sleeping(a), music videos(b), my job(c) and whatever else I choose to make everyone on my friends list read about (x). So for thoes of you who needed a table of contents, or had to skim because there is someone who posted cool pictures underneath me, that's the gameplan. META-E-JOURNALING!!!!!!! INTELLECTUALISM!

So in the past few days I have not been (a)sleeping well. Not anything interesting, I just have been stressed out about jobs and I had icky icky cramps. So I spent my time watching Dig! (very good--The Brian Jonestown Massacre is as awesome as their name leads you to believe) and playing a game where you flip over cookies on the internet.

So this morning I woke up and watched a couple (b)music videos. I saw this band called 30 Seconds to Mars. I'm thinking to myself- Hey guy, you look like that actor Jared Leto. I then remember reading somewhere deep in the bowels of the internets that this band has a pretty big cult following with 16 year old girls who sound a little like this: "omgzIsaw30secondstomarsjaredwassohotwithblackeyelineronhisface!" But what makes Mr. Leto any different than Lindsay Lohan and her music career? I mean, 30 Seconds to Mars sucks. They suck balls. The video was stupid, I think it was a rip off of the Shining but there were twins, and fucking dark eyeliner and stringy hair. So I am going to write Jared Leto a letter that will go something like this:

Dear Jared,
I don't paticularly remember what movies you've been in, but I don't paticularly remember them being bad either. However, today I saw you on the MTV. I ask you now not only to stop making music for me, but for yourself. You're only going to be embarrassed when VH1 mocks you for it in a few years. Also, The Used, Panic! at The Disco and all of the other bands on the Vans Warped Tour have the 16 year old eyeliner stringy hair market covered. Thanks for the effort, but that's all for now.
yours,
Emily Dunne

I got the job as an (c)Art History teacher. It's pretty much in the bag. Today I am going to go to show them my portfolio and convince them that my work is good. No more walking around with a bag full of quarters (goodbye cat book :( I spent your fund on hamburgers.)

I apologize that this entry was long and un-funny.

tralala_band @ 2006-06-05T00:24:00

2006-06-05T04:24:10Z

Just FYI: In Queens people like do make very loud drilling/garbage truck (Do garbage trucks run this late????) noises outside at 12:30 at night. Not that I'm anywhere near asleep...